Leadership
Keys for . . .
DEALING WITH ADDICTIONS
One cannot deal in the world of business very long without
seeing the tragic human waste brought on by destructive behaviors.
Leaders must learn how to deal with addictive behaviors within
themselves and/or others.
INDEX
Leaders deal with addictive behavior either consciously and
competently, or they deal with those behaviors with unconscious
incompetence. Which type of leader are you? Listed below are some
of the reasons I have decided to write on the subject of dealing
with addictions.
- First, I have found that most people want to be healthy
and enjoy a long and productive life. I believe everyone
is created to live an abundant life. However, because
of the infinite variance of factors that bring us to adulthood,
including our genetics, family, and society, not all of us have
the same ease in finding our way along that journey. These pages
are dedicated to helping those serious about dealing with the
destructive addictions that have claimed hold of their lives.
- Second, I am a recovering workaholic! I didn't want
to be one. I didn't set out to become one. But I am. I believe
that overcoming denial is key to dealing with addictive behavior.
I have learned much about addictions in my journey to recover
from the "drivenness and obsessive hold overwork has had
on my life," and enjoy the benefits of maintaining healthy
work habits. This is one of the motivating factors to these pages.
- Third, an incredible number of the fine men and women
I have dealt with as a consultant, friend and peer have struggled
with this same addiction to work and a host others. Addictions
can ruin any person at any time in any place and of any culture
- addictions do not discriminate. I believe that helping
others is one of the rules of maintenance for any addition.
Not only does it provide needed support for others on the same
journey, but it continually adds new dimensions to my personal
understanding and recovery process.
- Fourth, many of the addictions people share with me
are actually encouraged by their friends, family, employers, church,
school and society. When you attempt to deal with them, many often
resist or work in opposition to you both knowingly and unknowingly.
They are sometimes "co-addicted" to your addiction,
and if you become healthy, they must deal with their addictions
as well. I believe that dealing with addictions is tough
and often lonely.
- Fifth, there often is a stigma related to any addiction.
Like some physical diseases, people feel they are contagious.
Unlike physical diseases, people have not learned how to deal
with those affected - so they tend to reject and isolate themselves.
Admission often results in unrecoverable expulsion from certain
relationships and aspects of leadership and society. My discovery
is that many fine and productive leaders are so because they have
learned to deal with their addictions, not because they do not
have any. Unless you get close to them, you would never know.
Thus I believe that broadcasting your addictive behavior is not
necessary, but a personal choice you need to make. It takes courage
to share on any level. I believe that sharing your addiction
with a significant one or few is non-optional for recovery.
- Sixth, . . . You are here! Perhaps these pages will
help you prevent or deal with any unwanted and addictive behavior
in your life. Welcome, and best of luck on your journey. I
believe these pages must develop over time and I invite your input,
stories, observations, victories and content. You are
not alone!
BACK TO INDEX
Charles Hobbs, a time management expert who has done some
profound research for Daytimers, Inc., points out that most people
do not think through their beliefs which motivate their priorities
and actions. My beliefs on how to deal with addictions have developed
over time. Here are some fundamental "results of my studies
and experiences" that are foundational to my belief structure
and thoughts on how to deal with addictive behaviors.
- A Variety of Definitions: I have found many definitions
for addiction, but they all involve uncontrollable behavior of
some type. If unwanted behavior is not part of the concern, then
addictions would be of no consequence. Technically we are all
addicted to air, food, water, love, etc. Addiction, for our purposes,
will be confined to behavior that is destructive in some way.
And, as you know, this may even involve air, food, water and love,
etc. Thus the substance of an addiction is not as critical as
the desctuctive behavior surrounding it. For the purpose
of these pages, addictions I am concerned about are those that
keep us (and often those around us) from enjoying an abundant
life.
- Broad Definition: Destructive behaviors you cannot
stop and have become dependent upon.
- Loose Definition: Unwanted destructive behavior.
- Psychological Definition: Any behavior out-of-control.
- Medical addiction: Any chemical dependency.
- Societal Definition: Legislated unwanted behaviors.
- Spiritual Definition: Sin. Any behavior or lack of
it that is adverse to God's will for an abundant life.
- Best Definition: Who cares! You know if a behavior
is destructive. Be honest and go from there.
- Basic Catagories: Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Addictions;
Legal and Illegal Behaviors. There are other typologies, but these
are basic and enough to deal with at one time.
- Importance of Dealing With Addictions Today: This is
the only road to an abundant life. Look at these truths about
the nature of addictions:
- Addictions grow more destructive over time, even those that
are not observable on the surface.
- Addictions are easier to deal with earlier in their process
of development.
- The sooner you deal with addictions, the more you will contribute
to the help of others.
- Victory over addictions is sweet (especially in relationships)!
- Holistic Approach: The only approach that works completely,
consistently, and continually!
BACK TO INDEX
Start anywhere, but start now. That's my advice. Here are
some places to start and some fundamental thoughts related to
those approaches.
- Illegal Behavior Dimension to Addictions: Governments
(Federal to Local) have outlawed certain behaviors. If an addiction
crosses over into one of these catagories, it takes on an entirely
new dimension. These pages apply to all addictive behaviors, and
many addictions could violate legal parameters. If your addiction
involves illegal behavior, you must deal with this fact. These
pages may still be of help to you, but you must face your responsibility
to society. Not all illegal behavior must end in arrest, conviction
and/or incarceration. Much depends upon what you are doing to
recover, who the illegal behavior affects, and the healthy commitment
to you of those who surround you. Dealing with your addictions
may result in some legal consequence, however, and this cannot
be obscured. There is a growing intolerance for certain drug,
alcohol, sexual, feloneous, and violent behaviors often related
to addictions. This increases my concern that you deal with your
behavior today, and not wait until it might lead you into illegal
behaviors against your will.
- Psychological Dimension of Addictions: (Certain Disorders,
Obsessions, Co-Addictions, etc.) Most addictions have a psychological
aspect. If your psychological makeup is not the cause of the addiction,
than the addiction often causes some psychological dependency
linked with its resulting behaviors. There are two approaches
to dealing with the psychological dimensions of your addiction:
Behavioral and Developmental. Regardless of what your addiction
is, you will have to deal with both the behavioral and developmental
aspects of its hold on your life.
- Behavioral Aspects: (Pavlov, Skinner, Jung, Glasser,
Crabb, etc.) There are sophisticated models in operation on the
behavioral level of psychology. Although most of these deal with
pathology, they often are easily adapted to lay models for the
reinforcing of healthy behaviors. I have found that there are
basically three elements in most behavioral models that repeat
themselves: Significance, Security, and Service. They are simple
enough to understand and use, and help in understanding your behavior
and the behaviors of others. Many instruments that measure and
help understand your behavior are self-administered, and many
fall into the social-style instrumentation category (MBTA, DISC,
Greek Temperment, Etc.)
- 1) Significance is found basically through the understanding
of our design.
- 2) Security is found baxically through having those
needs met that are a function of our design.
- 3) Service is what happens when we experience the significance
and security necessary to develop productive relationships
with ourself and others.
- There is a transformation factor that enables us to
translate our significance and security into service.
- Developmental Aspects: (Rogers, Ellis, Freud, etc.)
As with behavioral psychology, developmental psychology has formulated
many sophisticated models. Most of these deal with pathology,
and very few are easily adaptable to lay usage for the reinforcement
of healthy behaviors. I have found that there are basically three
elements in most developmental models that repeat themselves:
Belonging, Worth, Competence. They are simple enough to understand
and use, and help in understanding your feeling and the feelings
of others as they relate to your sense of psychological health
(translated into behavior). Few instruments that measure and help
understand your feelings and state of psychological development
are self-administered, and most fall into the psychological instrumentation
category (MMPI, CPI, 16 Factor, etc.) The FIRO-B is one that I
enjoy because it deals with both the behavioral and developmental
aspects of addictive behavior, and is fairly easy and safe to
use on a self-administered basis.
- 1) Belonging is developed mainly in early childhood,
and is linked to family and our sense of having community.
- 2) Worth is developed mainly in our childhood through
adolescence, and is linked to love and our sense of being
loved.
- 3) Competence is developed in young adulthood through
life, and is linked to health and our sense of dealing
with healthy relationships.
- Physical Dimension of Addictions:(Drugs, Alcohol, Nicotine,
Sexual, Certain Disorders, Etc.) Most (maybe all) addictions have
a physical aspect. Regardless of what your addiction is, you will
have to deal with some physical aspects of its hold on your life.
In a simplified view, there are three approaches in dealing with
the pshysical dimensions of your addiction: External Chemicals,
Internal Chemicals, Resulting or Precipitationg Patterns of Behavior.
- 1) External Chemicals: This produces a resulting
feeling or behavior that is destructive, often just the continued
taking of the chemical. Here you need professional medical help.
Simply put, you have introduced a destructive chemical into your
body that it craves. It may or may not have permanent consequences,
but the longer you introduce this chemical, the more likely it
will have irreversable effects.
- 2) Internal Chemicals: This produces a precipitating
behavior that is destructive. Here you need professional psychological
help. Simply put, there is a behavior in your life (like eating,
or beating someone, etc.) that releases a chemical rush internally
that becomes destructively addictive. Professional help is one
step to replacing those behaviors with constructive alternatives.
This type of addiction can be as gripping as the most dangerous
of external chemicals and should not be taken lightly.
- 3) Resulting or Precipatating Patterns of Behaviors:
Resulting behaviors are easier to spot than precipitating behaviors.
Both, however, involve a chemical dependence that must be dealt
with constructively. In both of these instances, I highly recommend
professional guidance in the journey to recovery and an abundant
life. In non-chemical addictions there is the physical reality
of broken or stessed relationships, unwanted actions by yourself
or others, disruption of healthy sleeping patterns, changes in
healthy physical patterns, etc. All of these involve observable
physical aspects that eventually need to be dealt with in some
constructive way. Addictions impact your physical life!
- Spiritual Dimension of Addictions: All addictions have
a spiritual dimension.
- Holistic (Contextual) Dimension of Addictions: All
addictions impact your mental, physical and spiritual dimensions.
Noone can truly separate these areas of their life.
- William James in his book The Varieties of Religious
Experience points out that health in one area encourages
and impacts health in the other areas. He points out that spiritual
renewal often results in emotional wholeness. In turn, psychologial
health often results in a profound religious experience.
- William Marston in his book The Emotions of Normal People
points to a similar truth in noting that all physical and emotional
aspects of our lives are integrally linked. As a medical doctor
and inventor of the lie detector test, he found that our mental
and belief processes impact the health of our physical processes.
One could be used to evaluate and often predict the other.
- King David in his Book of Pslams continually
describes the impact of truth, honesty, and righteous living with
emotional and physical health. His son, Solomon, in the Book
of Proverbs, continues these observation with many candid
and profound linkages.
- Health practioners can give endless case studies on how the
various professions have worked together to bring lasting treatment
to those dealing with addictions. I could go on (...and I might
later!).
BACK TO INDEX
My choice. I had to decide whether I would "get
it all done" and present a complete approach or just "put
out there" what I could find the time to get into hypertext.
I chose the latter for better or worse. I have lots on the subject
that will take months to produce unless some angel comes along
and underwrites the time and energy to reproduce it for the web.
No appologies. Here are some of the areas I am translating and
some that I am putting into writing for the first time... From
my experience, they will always be under construction.
BACK TO INDEX
Back to Leadership Home Page
Why this series of pages?